The world is full of pitfalls, more so if we choose to let them hold us back. I have met so many

transwomen (and some transmen) in my life that are hiding in the closet shivering. I am not addressing

those not yet out or not yet sure how to come out. That is a very real and very complex issue, and one I

won’t address here.  What I refer to are people that consider themselves out, but can't actually bring

themselves to step out. It does beg the question what is out and what is not. More importantly it seeks

explanation of why those who are out cannot be truly out. That is an issue beyond our own, and yet one

So how does one not only confront but eliminate prejudice, bigotry and exclusion? The single best

answer is to treat these things like an allergic reaction. You quite simply, apply consistent doses of antigen

until the problem is resolved. In this case, we are the antigen. The single biggest form of advocacy any of

Human beings, like all creatures are driven by instinct. Yes, we have the ability to apply reason to

life, but there are still raw instinctive drives inherent in all of us. The reaction at play, as it relates directly

to such things as bigotry and discrimination is the most primal and simple: fight or flight. Barring logical

thought, we automatically dislike that which is different from ourselves. This notion is compounded by

the fact that humans rely on their eyesight more than any other sense. If we followed our sense of smell,

as most of our four legged friends do, there would be much less discrimination in the world as our minds

would say “sniff, sniff... okay that is a fellow human we are safe.” This is not our reality. Humans follow

their eyes, and it is the visual cues that drive the fight or flight instinct. Unfortunately, those of us who are

not 100% stealth are, by our very nature, visually different. Taking these articles as a whole, we see where

We are different, visually, even if we are humans all the same. And the honest reality is that the

average citizen has never interacted with a transperson. It makes sense that we face negativity on various

levels, which is instinct getting the better of those we meet. The upswing is that humans do possess the

Simply put, if we step out into the world in a positive way, live our lives as any human would we

will change hearts and minds. If a person harbors bias for that which they view as different, what better

way to change that persons mind for the better than to provide them with a positive impression? That is

what I endeavor to do every day when I enter the world, and it what each and every one of us should be

And here is where I look to my own community (and also where some of you will start firing off

nasty emails and throwing things at your monitors.) By and large, we are our own worst enemies. I see so

many girls who never have anything but a bad experience in the world. Mind you, even I will admit that

there is hatred and intolerance in the world. But mostly, what there is misunderstanding and

apprehension. The former we always need to be aware of and use necessary caution. The latter we solve

by positive interaction. I am sorry if this offends the negative types, but if every time you walk out the

door you have a negative experience, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror. At some point,

when everything thing seems to be going wrong and the entire world seems to be against us, we need to

Now, before you misunderstand my point and get all huffy, I am not talking here about passing. Yes,

passing is the long term answer and certainly should be the goal. But in reality, positive interaction is a

matter of deportment, attitude and expression. The woman who carries herself confidently, smiles and

engages with the world around them will always have a more positive and fulfilling life than the girl who

This is your life, and your transition. Taken to with the right attitude it is a wonderfully fulfilling

and fascinating time in a woman's life. So smile, be yourself, put out the positive energy that you likely

suppressed for years and enjoy. Do nothing more than that and you will find the world isn't so negative

after all. You will also be doing a most valuable service for your sisters and brothers. It only takes one

positive interaction with a member of the trans-community to change the mind of a fellow human. Those

who fear that which they don't know cease being negative once they do. And by that simple